I didn’t actually know what a boundary was until I was 27.
It took hitting rock bottom with my health, and leaving a business partnership where I was gaslit to really understand what boundaries were, and that I was allowed to create them.
Me... the youngest child in my household, who grew up in a home living with 10+ family members at any given time, someone who was so used to being always available to others, was actually allowed to create boundaries and ask for what I needed. What. A. Concept.
That year in 2017, I began to test out what it looked like to set boundaries with those I love. If voices were raised with me, I would stop the conversation and let that person know that I don’t accept that behaviour and way of communicating in my life anymore. If someone wanted more than I could give, I would let them know directly that I could not show up in the way they were asking me to.
I learned what I needed to be well and stay well psychologically, and I practiced what it meant to advocate for myself in work and in relationships.
As the days and weeks passed and I began building confidence in setting boundaries and better protecting my needs, life became more supportive, calm, and manageable. I was able to learn more about myself. I was able to better understand who I am, and who I could become now that I was created more space for my truth and my needs.
I had started paving the way towards my dream life. Not related to the material world, but rather my inner world. The community I had always dreamed of began forming around me and were showing up in a way that was respectful and empowering for both of us.
I had levelled up.
“My boundary is not up for debate.” - Minaa B
As we launch Season 2 of Lessons Learned (!!!) we have two episodes for you. The first is a solo-episode where I share my journey of recovery from burnout at the end of 2020, and how I took the time I needed to elevate the show and my business. The second is my interview with licensed therapist, and boundary expert Minaa B (someone whose Instagram posts always hit at the exact right moment).
In this episode we dive into so much of the how behind what I shared above:
- How to create a boundary, even in difficult situations
- How to create boundaries with those you love and with work (especially during the pandy (yes that’s my nickname for the pandemic courtesy of my friend Sarah Lewis)
- How to deal with the anxiety that comes when creating boundaries, and...
- How to decide who to turn to at the right times to prevent pain
This time with Minaa truly changed my life. I can’t wait for it to do the same for you. Find this week’s journal prompts (the same ones Minaa shares in the episode) here for you to dive into.
As this is our first episode drop in a while, your LOVE means so much to us! Please share these episodes, and leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you feel called to.
Our team has been working so hard this last three months to get ready for today. To Renira (the podcast producer and maker of all the beautiful things you see with our brands), Daniela Ochoa (our in-house project manager and lead of content), Na’imah Friday (our new community lead and live-events lead) and Madison Foran (our show editor), and everyone else supporting in so many ways, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. You’ve helped bring a major dream to life.
To all of you, our incredible audience, thank you for being on this ride with us. I am doing the work of my dreams. Hosting this show to help you build your success and resilience in life and work, and doing the same through teaching and leading our programs is the privilege of a lifetime.
Speaking of programs, The Next Right Step, our 8-week program that helps you build your resilience and leadership and helps you craft a holistic blueprint for life and work, will be opening for registration on May 12th. Stay tuned for more info! (Random fact, this interview with Minaa was from our first program cohort for the week on Wellness)
Finally, I’d love to hear about your experiences with boundaries, I’ll include them in a mini episode we’ll be releasing next week. Record a voice note and forward it our way, or hit reply and write it out. I can’t wait to hear from you!
Until next time,
- Komal
P.S. Here are some additional questions for you to reflect on from my solo episode...
What most needs your time right now? What most needs your heart, and your attention?
Where in your life do you need to slow down now so you can go faster later?