I think a lot of my discomfort these past weeks has been based on a lot of big decisions needing to be made/being made.The energy it takes to make those decisions, and the energy it takes to deal with the consequences of those decisions is significant. My body be like:
Some BIG decisions:
Deciding to move to NYC - absolutely the best and right thing to do right now, but very much a MASSIVE decision to make. I own a home in Ottawa, Mitch and his whole family live here, but I know that however comforting staying would be, I will always regret not going to see how amazing we can make Dream, Girl and it's launch. That doesn't stop me from procrastinating a little bit - I've had the retainer agreement from my law firm for a week that I haven't signed because I can't believe this is really happening. OMG.
Deciding to focus on three things for the Dream, Girl launch: our audience, our premiere/launch, and our tour - there have been so many amazing opportunities coming our way recently for the film. It's difficult to know what's to our deep benefit, and what's something that would just be great and fun to do. TED + Clinique for Erin was a must do, Cannes for me was a must do, and in the past few weeks a few decisions were made that were out of our control that made me feel like I'd failed, but that were in fact, the best thing for us. They allowed me the space to realize what will serve us and this movement best, and for that I am grateful. But feeling like a failure, even momentarily, is no fun.
Deciding to go home - when you are in a state of low energy, taking time off and going anywhere can feel counterproductive, and counterintuitive. But we must! I called my mom crying last week. I was so scared to make that call, and she told me to breathe, to talk it out with her, and to come home early. I work from home anyways, so it would simply be a shift from my office at home in Ottawa, to the kitchen table at my childhood home with my mom hanging out with me. I think the latter wins.
Deciding to go to the Ashram today - I practice meditation with an organization called the Art of Living Foundation. My Guru, or spiritual teacher, is at the Canadian ashram three hours away from me. I've been stressed about going because I fly out in the morning to Alberta, but I know I must. It always makes me feel so much better, and the spirit, and energy of that place is so healing. So I best be getting on the road soon!
On that note, I have packing to do before driving to Quebec to see Guru Ji. Stay tuned to find out how it goes. Have a great Sunday everyone, and good luck with whatever big or small decisions you have to make today! You've got this!